Goodbye Perfectionism: Stop Doing That And Start Doing This (Breakthrough Success Strategy)

I recently had an interviewer ask me about my journey from being an attorney to following my purpose and passion as an inspirational speaker, author, and Christian life & business coach..

“What has been the most challenging part of your journey?”

My answer….the need to be perfect.

In the beginning, I was ecstatic about fulfilling my soul’s purpose, but at the same time afraid that I would suck at it.

I agonized over every little detail of my business and became paralyzed by my  need to make sure everything was “just right.” 



Perfection Paralysis Is Real

I can share this with you because I know I’m not alone.

Perfection paralysis prevents many Christian women from achieving the personal and professional success they truly desire.

 Whether it’s starting a new career, launching a business, writing a book, or even going back to school, the fear that we won’t quite be good enough holds many of us back from unleashing our fullest God-given potential.

Instead of living passionate, purposeful. and prosperous lives , we settle for much less than God’s best for us. Not because it isn’t for us, but because we won’t give ourselves permission to make event the slightest mistake.

It’s a dangerous condition.

But, perfection paralysis is not a permanent predicament.  It can be cured. 

Today, I’m going to give you one simple strategy that will help you to stop the perfection paralysis and start moving toward your fullest God-given potential.

Here we go…


Do you ever stop yourself from starting a new project because when you think about people you admire you say, “I don’t think I could ever be as good as they are…”

 Stop That!


 Because you are comparing your beginning to someone else’s ending.    

 When you hold yourself to a standard it took someone else years to attain, you’ll never be able to measure up.


 Here’s something for you to consider—Every pro started out as an amateur.

 Instead of skipping ahead to the end, start from the beginning.  Learn the skills you need to develop now to move you toward the goals you would like to accomplish.

 One of the best ways to do this is by spending time with a mentor—someone who has accomplished the things you’d like to accomplish someday.  Take your mentor out to lunch and ask her…

                How did you get started doing what you are currently doing?

                What skills did you have to develop in order to get where you are today?

                What lessons have you learned along the way?

 Chances are, you’ll discover that the person you admire had to start with similar (or maybe even much more difficult) circumstances. 


 A Step A Day Keeps The Paralysis Away.

 It doesn’t take huge leaps to overcome perfection paralysis.  Taking just one small action step a day helps you to build momentum toward your goals.  I invite you to join me  to start manifesting your deepest desires in my all-new, transformative journey, B.I.R.T.H. Your Dreams– 21 Day Breakthrough Challenge In just 21 days, you’ll begin to tap into your true power source to fulfill your life . . . and your dreams.  Claim your access to the challenge by visiting,

Brought to you by Benecia Ponder, dedicated to helping you live with an abundance of passion, purpose, power, and prosperity!

[Detox Your Soul] Day 15 – Revitalize Your Life

Are you living a life you love?  

Most people choose to live a life they like or just barely tolerate.  Some people even choose to live a life they downright hate. One of the biggest reasons cited for staying in such undesirable states i s the belief that truly living a life you love is a myth.  

While it is elusive to the majority of folks out there, a happy, joyful, and fulfilling life can be a reality.  YOUR reality.

There are tons of people (just like you) enjoying everyday of their lives – doing work they love, engaged  in encouraging and supportive relationships, experiencing continual spiritual and personal growth with big bright smiles on their faces and true  joy in their hearts. 

Sounds like something you want?  

Your first step to living a life you love is loving the life you live.

The life you have right now is a life worth loving.

If you’re waiting for a problem free life where you have your ideal career, a perfect spouse,  and kids that clean their rooms without being asked, before you feel you have a life you can love – you’ll be waiting forever.

You may have glossed over it earlier so I’ll say it again.  The life you are living right now is a life worth loving.

Don’t believe me?

Ask yourself this one, simple question and see what your answer reveals:

What’s the best thing that happened to me today?

Really think  and pick out the best thing that happened to you in the past week.

Do you notice what happened?  All of a sudden all you could think about were the good things that happened.  Big and small, you began to sift through all the good things that happened to you over the past 7 days to find the best thing.

Made you smile,  didn’t it?

And just to keep you going, here are some other things you can do in less than five minutes to bring more enjoyment and happiness to your life right now:

  • Enjoy a few moments of peaceful silence during your day.  It doesn’t have to be long.  Even sixty seconds of quiet time will leave you refreshed and bursting with energy.
  • Turn on some music and dance.  That’s right – get your body moving…offbeat and all.  
  • Go find someone to talk to.  If you are  someone who spends lots of hours working alone, you’re missing out on one of the most critical components of life well-being – social interaction. 
  • Laugh out loud.  Don’t just text it.  Do It.  Turn on one of those crazy YouTube Videos – you know one of the ones of people doing the funniest things and have a great big belly laugh. (If you work in an office, you may want to close your door for this one.)

See, loving your life is not as difficult as you may have thought. It’s really the simple things that make the biggest difference. 

Cleansing Exercise

Take at least 15 minutes to enjoy your life today.  Choose one of the activities suggested above, or create one of your own.  Whatever, you do…Have FUN!!!

Soul Food

“I came that they may have and enjoy life, and have it in abundance (to the full, till it overflows).” ~John 10:10 (Amplified Bible)

Facing Change? 4 Positive Perspectives To Help You Thrive In The Midst Of Change

Does change hit you hard?

If you answered “yes”…why do you think that is?

It could be because change, when taken at face value,  represents an upset in the status quo – a disruption of your comfort zone. And, when the change is something big,  it can send your stress levels sky-high, and rob you of your peace of mind.

But we have to ask ourselves why.

We know that change is inevitable and there’s really no way around it. But people still fret about it, worry about what’s lurking around the corner, and wonder when the proverbial “other shoe” is going to drop.

This is no way to go through life!

So the next time change brews up in your life, try shifting your view, approach it differently, and remember the following: 

  1. View the change as an opportunity for personal growth. See and accept life’s challenges as a way of personally developing into more than you thought you could be.  Bettering your life can only happen by first removing what is holding it back.  The ‘old set’ has to be torn down first before a new, more vibrant one can be built. This is the only way circumstances will improve.
  2. Recognize that change is hard to swallow in just one gulp.  Give yourself the time needed to accept change on your own internal timetable.  Your internal clock ticks at a time different than anybody else’s.  We transition through many stages of change that can range from denial on the one hand to commitment on the other.  This process takes a different amount of time for each person.  Surrender to the process and accept however long it will take to work your way through these stages of change.  If others can get through change quickly, well good for them.  Go only at the pace that’s right for you.
  3. Conserve your energy.  People spend so much energy fighting and resisting change rather than using their energy in more productive ways of acceptance and letting go.  We can choose to channel our energy in more positive ways that can make us feel empowered to deal with change rather than seeing ourselves as mere victims to change.  When we direct our energy toward more positive ways of dealing with change, we invariably create better change outcomes.
  4. Accept change.  Don’t just give the change in your life a handshake – embrace it!  Welcome the chance to emerge from a difficult situation with much more strength than you possibly imagined you possessed.  Strength brings confidence, and confidence is the necessary precursor to success. 

And, if nothing else, remember this…

You have the power to be unstoppable!

You may not be able to control the changes in your life, but you CAN control how you handle them.   And when YOU’RE in control… When YOU call the shots…YOUR life becomes much easier, joyful and fulfilling.

 A great way to get started shifting your perspective and gaining control of your life (no matter what it throws your way)  is to claim your Free Instant Access to my bran new “Live The Live You Live” e-course when you visit

You’ll learn how to maximize your fullest potential and create the levels of success you desire – in every aspect of your life.

Brought to you by Benecia Ponder – dedicated to helping you live with an abundance of passion, purpose, power, and prosperity!




3 Questions That Will Boost Your Happiness Right Now

A lot of times I’ll hear people say…”I’ll be happy when….”

 “I’ll be happy when I find the love of my life. ”  

“I’ll be happy when I have my dream job.”

“I’ll be happy when I have more money in the bank.”

They put off happiness as if it’s a destination that they have to travel to. When in reality, happiness is something that you can have every single day, no matter how much money you have in the bank, no matter who you spouse is (or isn’t),  no matter what job you’re going to.

You can have happiness in every moment of your life.


Dennis Waitley said – “Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace & gratitude.”

Today, I have three questions for you:

  1. Where is the love in your life?
  2. How has God shown you grace and favor?
  3. What are you grateful for?

When you answer those questions, you’ll come to recognize that you have a lot to be happy about right now…you don’t have to wait another moment!

The best is yet to come

Today, I want to encourage you to allow God to close some doors in your life.

I know  this message may seem strange from someone who helps women to prosper in every aspect of their lives.  But…it’s a message that I believe you may need to hear right now…

You see, sometimes, the reason some things don’t work out is because God has something better in store for you. If you will allow Him to shut the door on the mediocre, He can open the door to the excellent in your business and life.

My advice to you:

Stop looking at those things that haven’t gone the way you expected.

Stop trying to force open those doors that God has closed. 

Trust and believe that He has something GREAT in store for you! 

A Point To Ponder:

What doors do you need to allow God to close?