Do You Have An Unhealthy Money Mindset?

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You have a relationship with money. Every entrepreneur does, but not everyone has a healthy relationship with money. Your money relationship is not determined by how many dollars you have in your bank account or what your client list looks like. Your relationship with money is about how you view money and how you use it to improve your business and your life.

So, how do you know if your money relationship is a good one or a bad one? Here are some signs that your money relationship could use some improvement.

Frequent Feelings of Jealousy and Bitterness

You go to the mall and see another customer buying the beautiful dress you wanted.  You feel a pang of disappointment then jealousy. You see your friend taking her kids to Disney World for summer vacation while your family is struggling just to keep food on the table. You feel angry and bitter whenever you think about it.

These feelings are understandable. It’s frustrating to struggle with money when it seems like everyone else has it so good. Acknowledge these feelings when you encounter them but don’t focus on your feelings. Negative feelings hurt you in the long-run and make it harder for you to improve your own money situation because you’re so busy keeping score.

Hoarding What You Do Have

When they hear the word ‘hoarding’, most people think of houses filled to the brim with useless items. But some types of hoarding are less obvious than that. It might be that you’re holding onto a closet full of old clothes because you’re afraid you might need them at some point. It could be that you keep things—even broken things—because you think you’ll find a use for them some day.

This type of hoarding doesn’t interfere with your daily life, but it does affect your relationship with money. You’re subconsciously sending yourself the message that you don’t have enough and you never will. Instead of living in beautiful abundance and trusting that you’ll have enough to meet your needs as they come, you’re closely guarding your things.

Refusing to Invest in Yourself

Often, solopreneurs and small business owners reach a plateau. A plateau is the point where you can go no further in your business or in your life, unless you invest in yourself first. An example of this in your personal life would be losing ninety pounds and having twenty left to lose. You want to lose the final twenty but you’ve plateaued. You’ve reached a point where you can’t go any further on your own.

This type of plateau can occur in your business, too. It might be that you’re a motivational speaker but you’re only getting booked for small events. You want to speak to bigger crowds in larger venues. You could continue to struggle for a few years or you could invest in yourself. Hire a coach to help you grow your speaking business. Book a session with a speaking consultant to ask for advice.

The first step to changing your financial outlook is to acknowledge that you’re not happy where you are. Once you do this, financial doors will begin to open for you and you’ll discover a better relationship with money.

Makeover Your Money Mindset

Discover how to re-calibrate your relationship with money with Your 21 Day Money Mindset makeover.  In just 3 weeks, you’ll experience shifts in yoru thinking that lead to total financial freedom!  Learn more at www.beneciaponder.com/mindsetmakeover.  

[Detox Your Soul] Day 21 Let’s Celebrate

CONGRATULATIONS!  You’ve made it to Day 21 of Detox Your Soul!
This has been an amazing journey. I can’t emphasize enough how truly phenomenal it’s been to experience this spiritual cleanse with you.
And, although today is the last day of our cleanse….You’re just beginning!
The time we’ve shared has prepared you with a solid foundation for a lifetime of renewed connection and faith. Now it’s time for you to build on that foundation.  I’ll continue to pray that you allow God to guide you along the way. And, if you find yourself stuck, I’m here for you. Don’t hesitate to reach out to me for coaching support.
Today, I encourage you to do two things:
Reflect
 How is your life better because you took the time to release and let go of the toxins clogging your mind and spirit?  
Click here and share your answer with me.  
Keep Cleansing
 I’ve reminded you several times during this challenge that cleansing is not a one time thing.  Don’t get discouraged if you find that in the coming weeks, you’ll need to release new toxins.  That’s perfectly normal.  The key is to get rid of them as soon as you become aware of it.  
You will always have access to the daily devotionals and prayer broadcasts.  
Here’s the link to the archive page so you can go directly to the devotional you need the most at the moment.   Visit the Detox Your Soul Archive Page.
Again, I want to congratulate you for the amazing work you’ve done so far!
You’re in the family now! 🙂  I’m looking forward to continuing our connection.  Remember, if there is anything I can do to help you move forward in your life personally or professionally, don’t hesitate to contact me!  

[Detox Your Soul] Day 20 – Fun, Fulfillment & Freedom

Ok…here’s a transparency moment – There are some days when I feel less than great. Low, grouchy, fed-up, and bored are all words you could use to describe what I’m like on those days and I’m probably not the best company.

The thing is, days like those are part of the deal with being human – it’s not an elective. There will always be off days, and that’s okay.

But what happens when you get a whole string of those off-days, maybe lasting weeks, months or even years? Too many of us say that we’re in a rut, feel stuck, fed-up, or bored and admit that we don’t want things to be that way, but we don’t know what to do to change. That’s the problem, when you’re in a rut, you don’t have the energy or motivation to change things for the better, and it’s tough to find the insight or resources you need to make that jump.

Here are three things you can add to your life right now to climb, or better yet, leap, out of the rut and start to get something better for yourself.

 Get Some Fun, Fulfillment and Freedom

The Three F’s – Fun, Fulfilment, and Freedom – encompass a lot of what people are looking for in life, and also contain the solutions to having, doing and being those things. Here are some definitions:

Fun – A source of enjoyment or pleasure; playful activity

Fulfillment – To bring into actuality; to complete; a feeling of satisfaction at having achieved your desires

Freedom – The capacity to exercise choice, free will; frankness or boldness; the absence of constraint in choice or action

Read those again. Those things are huge, deep, and broad, and are a lot simpler than we make them.

Cleansing Exercise

Ask Yourself…

Where are you in relation to each of the Three F’s? How much of each do you have right now? How much of each do you want? Whatever gap there is, recognize that it can be closed, and that you can close it.

What would things be like if you were to close that gap? What would happen if you climbed a point or two on the Fun scale? What if you could add a point to your level of Fulfillment or Freedom? How would that feel? Pretty good, right? So what one thing can you do right now to help you get more?

By themselves each of the Three F’s are a powerful thing, and can really help to move you forward, enjoy where you are, and feel alive. But when the Three F’s come together . . .well, just hold on to your hat and keys.

Before long, you’ll be saying – “Rut? What rut?” 🙂 Woo Hoo!!

[Detox Your Soul] Day 19 – Upgrade Your Relationships (part 2)

Frequently, I invite the readers of my blog and the listeners of my podcast to submit questions to me. No question is off limits.  I answer questions about leadership, goal setting and achievement, life success, career growth, relationships, business, work/life balance-basically anything related your total life well-being.  Each week I receive lots of questions and I personally answer each one. 

Check out this question from one of my podcast listeners. ..

How can I do what’s right for me without hurting my family?

A few weeks ago, a reader named Rosie wrote saying,

“My family runs a business that has been in our family for generations.  After college, I joined the company just like everyone expected.  But now, I’m miserable.   This is not what I want to do for the rest of my career.  How do I do what I truly want in life without ruining  the relationship with my family.” ~Rosie (Chicago, IL)

Surprisingly, I get this question or some form of it quite often.  Whether it’s choosing a career path, finding a spouse, deciding what city to live in, or a whole host of other important life decisions – we’ve all faced times when we find ourselves  juggling the expectations others. Trying to strike a balance between what we really want and what others want for us.

Can you relate to Rosie?

There are so many voices in your head telling you what you should do that you get paralyzed and making any kind of decision is nearly impossible.

You find yourself  in situations that drain you – emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and physically – all because you don’t want to be a disappointment or hurt someone’s feelings.

It’s a terrible place to be (yes, I’ve been there, too).  Yet, if you want to have a happy and fulfilled life, sometimes you have to make decisions that others won’t agree with. And, it doesn’t have to be as difficult or as hurtful as you might imagine.  You can make decisions that are right for you and still maintain healthy relationships.

Cleansing Exercise

When you are moving to the next level of your life, there are some relationships you can’t let go of.  Instead of letting the relationships suffer, determine to nurture them with open and honest communication.

If you find that your most vital relationships are being strained by your growth, her’s what to do…

  1. Get crystal clear about what you do want.   What are you moving into?  What’s yoru goal/dram/vision? Take the time to develop a vivid, detailed image of what you want.
  2. Get clear about the reasons why you want it.  This is perhaps the most important step.  As you make your move to the next level of your life, you may encounter some resistance.  Some of it may come from your family.  And, some of it may come from you.  After all, you’re doing something new and that can be scary.  To avoid becoming stuck again, keep reminding yourself of why you’re making the move.
  3. Have an honest conversation with your family. This may be the most frightening part, but completing the first two steps will make the conversation much easier.  The key is to be honest and direct.  Let your family know that you’re making changes to make you better, not to hurt them.  Tell them what you’d really like to be doing and why.
  4. Don’t leave your loved ones out.   Include them in your growth process.  Reassure them that you are not leaving them behind.  Invite them to join you on the journey.  

 

[Detox Your Soul] Day 18 Upgrade Your Relationships (part 1)

Associations bring about assimilation. Birds of a feather flock together. I’m sure you’ve heard these sayings at least once in your life. But, have you ever considered what they mean in relation to the levels of health, wealth, and happiness you have in your life?

Jim Rohn, America’s foremost business philosopher, was famous for saying, “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” Think about the five people you spend the most time with…do you all enjoy the same things? Do you all have the same level of happiness? Even if you are in different careers, do you all have just about the same level of income? Do you all read the same types of books or watch the same television shows? Are your relationships with your significant others similar? Chances are, you answered “yes” to most of those questions.

The reason – your thoughts, beliefs, habits, actions, and character are shaped most by the people you spend the most time with. Like Les Brown says, “If you hang around with 9 broke people, chances are you’ll be number 10″

Now ask yourself, “Is that okay?” Are you satisfied with having the same kind of income, success, relationships, and spiritual life your friends and colleagues have? If so, GREAT!

However, if your relationships are not providing the support and challenge you need to achieve the levels of success you desire in your life, then it may be time for you to make some changes. Here are three choices you can make in your current relationships:

Let Go – This is very hard to do and it is not a decision that should be taken lightly. However, there are some relationships that are too toxic to continue. You must let go of these relationships before they poison your entire life.

Place Limitations – There are some people you can’t let go of. However, you don’t have to allow them to be major influences in your life anymore. Begin to limit the time you spend with them. For instance, if you’ve previously spent hours on the phone gossiping with a certain friend and realize that this is taking up time you could be using to take action toward your goals, limit the number of times you talk to that person each week. You can also limit the things you discuss. Instead of discussing gossip, discuss your plans for the future, good things that have happened recently, or a good book you’re reading.

Upgrade – Begin to enhance and expand your relationships with positive and successful people. Make it a priority to spend the majority of your time with people who are excelling in various areas of life (health, wealth, relationships, spiritual growth, etc.).

Cleansing Exercise
Focus on expanding your positive relationships. Spend at least 2 hours this week in the company of people who challenge you to stretch and operate in excellence. This could mean attending a personal development seminar, going to a new Bible study class, taking your mentor to lunch, or attending the monthly meeting of your professional association.